dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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