worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When are your genitals available?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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