Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
