so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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