i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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