Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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