I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
