Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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