what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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