The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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