i need an iv and a liver transplant
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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