the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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