What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
