I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize