Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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