hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
