I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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