I am spending my child support on dildos
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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