maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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