i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
The ass gains better be worth it
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