Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
