Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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