I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
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