apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
