I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
