they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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