Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
