I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
