She is in my trunk
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Mom said you looked used
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize