9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
