We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
