You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
