Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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