bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
