Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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