you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
