Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
