the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
