Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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