Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
