we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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