Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize