So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
