I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
