When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
