Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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