this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
tequila makes me forget i have legs
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
