If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
