That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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