covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Bring me that man meat
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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