I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You were trust falling into bushes
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
