yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
