She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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