I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
