ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
