I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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