Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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