Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize