Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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