Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
