I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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