our cab driver is having phone sex.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
