Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
