i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
