I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
