Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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