can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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